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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27207247">when mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DowntimeDrabbles/pseuds/DowntimeDrabbles'>DowntimeDrabbles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bisexual Buffy Summers, Episode Tag, Episode: s03e14 Bad Girls, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Lesbian Faith Lehane, References to Depression, Suicidal Ideation, but make it gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:22:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27207247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DowntimeDrabbles/pseuds/DowntimeDrabbles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Buffy feels completely alone. Sometimes. But sometimes there's Faith. </p>
<p>or</p>
<p>A lesbian rewrite of the end of Bad Girls, where Faith learns that somebody cares for her</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title is from Thank You by Led Zeppelin</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes Buffy feels completely alone. Yeah, she knows - pretty much every teenager thinks that. But for her it's different. She loves her friends, her Watcher, her mother. She'd implode without them surrounding her, supporting her. But it doesn't change the fact that every day she lives with the overwhelming knowledge that when it really counts - at the end, she'll be alone. She's the one person tasked with protecting everybody. The one thing standing between the life and death of everyone on earth. </p>
<p>Her friends don't understand, will never understand. And why would they? They fight by her side, they've helped her save the world plenty of times by now. Buffy has no doubt that she would have been defeated by now if it wasn't for them. But no one is counting on them - they could walk away tomorrow, but she can't. There's a planet of people depending on her. A building full of old men in England judging her every move, dictating how she lives her life. And if she was to die tomorrow, they'd simply shrug and take over the life of another poor girl. </p>
<p>At the moment she can hide behind Giles - her tender age means that she doesn't have to make all the difficult decisions. Her Watcher, the adult, makes a plan, and she follows like a good little soldier. </p>
<p>But one day, not too far in the future, she knows that everybody, even Giles, will look to her to step up and singlehandedly protect them all. And it terrifies her. She's only a girl, one lousy girl. Who's idea was this anyway? One teenage girl in a one person army against the forces of darkness. </p>
<p>Of course, she may never have to step up as the adult. She might not even live long enough to graduate high school. Reaching her 18th birthday was miracle enough.</p>
<p>It's too much. If she was anybody else she would have folded under the pressure by now, sometimes she wishes she would, sometimes she's close. But she never can - after all, what kind of Slayer dies by their own hand? </p>
<p>Sometimes Buffy feels completely alone. <em> Sometimes </em>. But sometimes there's Faith. </p>
<p>Faith, the only other person who knows how she feels, who truly understands her. She can go to Faith with thoughts and feelings that her friends and family would condemn her for. </p>
<p>Faith, the dark to her light, her balance. They complete each other. Buffy, the level headed good girl, and Faith, the Slayer in touch with her dark side, the girl who's not afraid to go against the book. Between the two of them, they make a fully functioning Slayer. </p>
<p>Every time Buffy's shoulders start to buckle under the pressure, her knees start to quiver and she thinks <em> this is it, it's all going to come tumbling down on top of me </em>, Faith appears next to her and helps her carry the load. Flashes her a cocky smile. </p>
<p>"Hey B." She smirks, "Need some help there?" </p>
<p>And Buffy lets out a sarcastic laugh, a smile on her lips as she looks at the other girl with eyes of gratitude. </p>
<p>But now, in this moment she has to be the strong one. The building's about to fall and Faith is in the basement. Buffy has to take some of the weight from her shoulders. </p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Faith stands at the sink, cleaning her bloody clothes. Trying to act nonchalant, calm. As if she doesn't care. Her dark hair falls into her eyes, eyes ringed with shadows. Buffy knows those eyes, has seen them before - on herself, back when she thought she'd killed Ted. On Angel, since he got back from hell with his newly restored soul. They're the eyes of someone tearing themselves apart with guilt and grief. Someone who can't sleep because every time they close their eyes they see the life that they took away. </p>
<p>"Faith… please don't shut me out here." She tries, but Faith brushes past her, "Look sooner or later we're both gonna have to deal." </p>
<p>"Wrong." </p>
<p>"Faith, this wasn't your fault. He came out of nowhere, it was an accident!" </p>
<p>"God, B, when are you gonna get it? I don't care!"</p>
<p>"I think you do. This isn't who you are." </p>
<p>The other slayer scoffs, turning towards Buffy quickly, eyes blazing with anger. </p>
<p>"And how would you know who I am, B?" Faith lets out a laugh, "Saint Buffy, always the good little girl. Everyone wants me to be just like <em> you </em>." She spits with venom. </p>
<p>"This isn't about me." </p>
<p>"Of course it is! You think you're so much better than me! Well you don't know what I've been through, you don't know who I am!" Faith's shouting now, she steps towards her, but Buffy stands her ground. If this is what Faith needs, she'll take it. </p>
<p>In the time they've known each other, Buffy's never known the other girl to open up so much. Not the serious stuff anyway. Her walls are built so high, everything locked inside, and Buffy has a feeling that it's been like that for a while. She can take the verbal abuse if it gets Faith to open up, to knock down a few bricks. </p>
<p>"I don't think I'm better than you." Buffy says quietly. </p>
<p>"Yes you do, say it! Everyone else does! God you get everything - the Watcher, the Mom, the Scooby Gang, but what do I get? Nothing! So maybe this is who I am, maybe I am a killer, a bad guy. It'd make sense right? Shitty childhood, the only person who ever cared about me is dead. Why should I care about saving the world when nobody in it cares about <em> me </em>?" </p>
<p>Her skin is flushed red, there are tears in her eyes but Buffy knows that she won't let them escape. Faith would never let herself show such weakness. </p>
<p>"I care. I care about you." </p>
<p>"Don't lie to me." </p>
<p>"Faith, I'm not lying! I <em> care </em>about you. Why can't you understand that? You're the only person I've ever met that really understands me. When I'm with you, when I think about you, things make sense, and trust me things don't usually make sense!" Buffy steps forward, Faith steps back. </p>
<p>A tear rolls down Faith's cheek, she quickly raises a hand and swipes it away, turning to hide her face. </p>
<p>There's silence for a while. The two girls standing, breathing heavily. </p>
<p>"Faith, I… you are one of the things that gets me through every day. I don't know if I'd be able to cope without you in my life now that I know you. I don't know what you've been through in the past, but I know that it was rough, bad. It's not fair. But I <em>care</em> about you. I care what happens to you." </p>
<p>Faith turns to her, then sighs and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. The springs creak - the bed must be old, infested with bed bugs too she's sure. This whole room, whole motel is one of the seediest places in Sunnydale. </p>
<p>"I… I can't really explain it, but… the way I think about you sometimes, the way I <em> feel </em>… it scares me." Buffy sits on the bed too, leaving space between her and Faith. "I've never felt this way before, never cared about somebody the way I care about you." </p>
<p>"What about Lover Boy? I thought you were soulmates?" Faith responds, mockingly. Intermittently she reaches up and aggressively wipes away a tear before it has the chance to escape. </p>
<p>"Things with Angel… they're complicated." She sighs. </p>
<p>Faith laughs, looking at Buffy with her eyebrows raised, "And we aren't?" </p>
<p>"The way I feel about you isn't."</p>
<p>Buffy's heart is hammering against her chest. This is completely new territory for her. This isn't the same as how she's felt about Angel. Since meeting Faith, she feels like she's met <em>her</em> <em>person</em> - the person that makes everything make sense. She's sat up night after night thinking about Faith, freaking out over her thoughts and feelings. She hated them when they first emerged, hated herself. But she can't bring herself to hate them now. It's not normal, she knows that. But neither is she. Neither is her life.</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, Buffy prepares herself to look at the other girl, to keep talking.</p>
<p>"Faith-"</p>
<p>She's cut off by Faith's lips crashing into hers. It takes her a moment to understand what's happening, to realise that this isn't a dream, this is <em>really</em> <em>happening. </em>She kisses back. It feels right, safe and soft but passionate, exhilarating. </p>
<p>Faith's left hand is gripping Buffy's hair, pulling tightly. Buffy's whole body lights up, tingles. The way it first did when Faith drew that heart on her classroom window, called her 'girlfriend'. The way it did when they'd danced together, hands clasped together desperately, eyes only for each other despite the guys surrounding them. </p>
<p>Buffy places her own hand on Faith's cheek, and soon she's being pushed back on the bed, Faith above her, on top of her, kissing her wildly, Buffy kissing back with equal force. She wonders whether her lips will be bruised after this. </p>
<p>When they finally pull apart, both gasp for air, breathing heavily. Buffy turns to Faith, and sees that the other girl has a few tears running down her cheeks. Gently, Buffy raises her right hand and brushes them away. </p>
<p>"We'll deal with this. Don't worry. I'll talk to Giles and everything will be fine. Just talk to me, okay? Talk to me about how you feel." She stares into Faith's eyes for a minute or so. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry." Faith whispers. "I'm so sorry I hurt him." She gasps, trying to hold back tears. Buffy pulls her in for a hug, laying her head on Faith's shoulder, breathing in her scent. </p>
<p>"I don't want you to be here alone. You need to be around the people who care about you." </p>
<p>Faith pulls back, wipes her face and smiles. "Jesus, B. One kiss and you're packing the U-Haul." </p>
<p>Buffy laughs, smacking her arm lightly. "We have a spare room, Dummy. It'll be better for both of us - you need family. Besides, two Slayers under the same roof isn't a bad idea." </p>
<p>They spend the rest of the morning packing Faith's few belongings from the dreary motel room. They make a plan to speak to Giles that afternoon, together. </p>
<p>By midday they're walking across town, hands brushing together between them. On an empty street, Faith throws an arm around Buffy's shoulders, pulling her in for a kiss. </p>
<p>"Thank you." She says. "I, um, I'm not used to this - y'know someone caring about me?" </p>
<p>"Well get used to it, okay?" Buffy smiles, pecking Faith quickly on the lips, before pulling apart as they round a corner onto a busier street. "I'm here to stay. And my family, friends, Watcher? They're yours now too." </p>
<p>"Thanks, B." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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